Hurt
by IvoryWhiskers
Summary: ...he’s just hurting. There’s nothing more to it. He’s hurting so badly on the inside that he feels like he’s dying and he’s dealing with it the only way he knows how.[Kakashi, Rin and Minato Yondaime try to cope with Obito's death]
1. Hurt

**- Hurt -**

For the first time in the 5 years he's lived with the knowledge, Kakashi thinks he understands his father's final decision.

He's in hospital, fighting aimlessly, pointlessly and hopelessly against the nurses trying to sedate him. He's not hysterical, he reasons with himself as he lashes blindly out, he's just hurting. There's nothing more to it. He's hurting so badly on the inside that he feels like he's dying and he's dealing with it the only way he knows how.

He supposes they were alerted by the pained scream he let out as he drove his fist into the mirror before him, and then again into the wall behind it, and again and again and again until his knuckles were bleeding and nurses were pulling him away.

He feels the needle penetrate his skin and he slowly stops resisting, letting the medics catch him before he hits the floor and the glass that covers it.

Tears are spilling down his cheeks and he wants to wipe them away. He's a Shinobi, he doesn't cry, he doesn't break down like this, he doesn't scream in hysteria until he feels like he's ripping his throat apart.

Only that's not true, because he _is_ crying, he _has_ broken down and his throat is raw, his screams still echoing in his ears.

He doesn't think he's ever felt so ashamed in his entire life as he does now. That's why he smashed the mirror in the first place. He needed something to take the pain out on, and Obito was _looking _at him. Obito and that blood red eye of his, the one that should be nothing now, that should be squashed and broken and dead, buried beneath the rocks along with it's owner. Only it's not, it's living on in Kakashi and he can't bear it.

Obito - his enemy, his rival, his _friend_.

The boy he watched die barely 2 hours ago, the blood barely washed off his hands.

He's fighting the sedative, trying to protest, making a feeble attempt to push the medics away as he's half carried and half dragged back to his bed. He hears someone order that he be put on suicide watch and he wants to laugh.

He thinks she just might have read his mind, but then if that's true she's read it wrong. He doesn't want to kill himself. He merely understands his father's decision to do so; but it's not a path he wants to venture down himself.

His Sensei must have suggested that he thinks, like father like son…True, it might free him of the guilt and the shame and the pain, but then Obito's death would be a mean to no end. He'd be throwing away the life the Uchiha had given his to save. And there's Rin. He has to live for Rin, to look after to, to protect her.

He's put back into bed and the IV's and breathing apparatus he removed are attached once again. A familiar voice asks what's going on and he hears a nurse mutter that its "nothing to worry about," absently as she checks his bandaged wounds.

There's a hand on his head and Kakashi can see a blur of bright blonde hair and shimmering azure eyes. His sensei.

He must have brought him here, he thinks, he can't really remember himself. He doesn't remember much after they destroyed the bridge. Perhaps the man put a sleep jutsu on him, or maybe he colapsed from exhuastion, he contemplates, testing his mouth, only to find that he can't make a sound.

He wants to ask about Rin, he needs to know if she's okay, because he promised him, he promised him he'd look after her and she has to be alright, he can't fail this early on.

He's still gazing pleadingly at his Sensei, willing the man to read his mind too and tell him when a small hand clasps his and the blonde blur is replaced by a coppery-red.

He can't say anything but he doesn't need to anymore, she's okay and that's all he needs to know. Kakashi squeezes her hand weakly with his numbed fingers; letting the lids he'd being struggling to keep open slide shut.

And the last thing he remembers before he slips into blissful unconsciousness is a pair of soft lips pressing a gentle kiss upon his forehead.


	2. Heartbreak

**- Heartbreak - **

When Rin hears Kakashi screaming next door, she thinks this is what a breaking heart must feel like and she's sure she can feel both hers and Kakashi's shattering under the pain of it all in that shriek.

She thinks the smashed glass that no doubt now litters the floor are representing her wounded heart, he broke it along with the mirror, at the same time she supposes his finally began to bleed, because after all, if Kakashi can't stay together through all of this what chance does she have? The only reason she thinks she even managed to continue the mission and come back without breaking down was because he was stood by her side the entire time.

She can hear the nurses running as she pulls off the oxygen mask and starts to take the IV out, but her Sensei – who had risen the second he had heard Kakashi – stopped and moved back to her, gently pushing her back down and snapping the mask back over her face.

She attempts to protest but still feels weak and groggy from whatever medication she had been given and so complied reluctantly. That is until the man had hurried from the room, and the second that happens the mask is back off and the IV follows shortly.

Rin slides shakily out of bed, a sharp hiss making its way past her teeth as pain jolts through her bandaged ribs. It doesn't hurt as much as a broken heart though, she thinks as her hand automatically goes to clutch at the sore area.

It takes her a while to walk stiffly across the room and slip into the corridor, but she doesn't want to wait for her Sensei to come back, there's not even a guarantee that he will come back, she thinks, as Kakashi sounded like he needs the over-protective blonde more than she does.

Out in the corridor Tsunade doesn't say a word, but helps her into the room with a sad smile and knowing nod.

As she approaches the bed her Sensei steps back, and she reaches forwards to clasp Kakashi's hand before raising her eyes to look at him.

His hooded, now-mismatched, eyes are half closed and cloudy as he blinks dazedly up at her, and she thinks that maybe she sees his mouth twitch into a brief smile as he grasps her hand weakly and finally lets his lids slid shut.

Rin can't hold back the tears as he slips blissfully into unconsciousness. To see Kakashi, one of the strongest people she knows lying before her in such a state of hysterical grieving and weakness makes the reality twice as worse. Because if Kakashi can't be strong through this then they'd both best hope to Kami their Sensei can, she thinks, because she's not going to get through this without them.

Her Sensei touches her shoulder lightly, indicating that it's time to leave and she's almost turned to go when she changes her mind and turns back, leaning forwards and pressing a kiss to Kakashi's forehead. He stirs a little and Rin thinks he looks so helpless and lonely that he shouldn't be left, and the last thing she wants is to let go of his hand.

But she's starting the feel dizzy and sick and the pain in her ribs is getting steadily worse and then she doesn't even have a choice anymore because her Sensei's lifted her into his arms and she can't protest, she doesn't _want_ to protest because it's been so long since she's been held in strong arms and told it's okay.

It makes her miss her parents as well as Obito, but she doesn't mind because it feels nice to feel loved, and so she simply wraps her arms around his neck and buries her tear soaked face against his shoulder.

He carries her back to her room but she makes no move to let go and so he sits on the edge of the bed and leans back in a sitting position against the pillows, cradling her in an almost baby-like fashion in his arms.

Rin makes herself comfy, tears still dripping occasionally down her cheeks as she stares blankly at the wall opposite, unmoving.

It doesn't take long for her eyes to begin to shut, and the last thing she remembers before she slips into what will probably be an endless string of nightmares is a gentle kiss being pressed to her forehead.

* * *

A/N: Welll I wasn't actually planning on continuing this, it was a oneshot xD But I had this idea and a couple of you asked soooo….p Here you go Maybe more coming, not sure, you'll have to wait and see I'm afraid. 


	3. Failure

**SPOILER WARNING!**

_Spoiler for manga chapter 367!_

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**- Failure -**

Namikaze Minato always knew he couldn't drag his kids out into the battlefield day after day and return with three every time, but the reality is ten times worse than he ever imagined.

He hasn't yet had time to really even think about what he let happen, he can't because Rin and Kakashi need him so desperately right now and he's all they've got.

In all honesty he doesn't even know what really happened. Rin had simply told him that Obito had died and it was her fault and she was sorry, before vaguely saying something about Kakashi and the Sharingan. He hadn't pressed the matter. His efforts to coax Kakashi into saying more once the boy had regained consciousness had been a mean to no end.

He had expected his youngest student to report what had happened in detail as he usually would, but – just like Rin had told him – Kakashi said that Obito had died and it was his fault and he was sorry.

The pair were both blaming themselves, which he could understand, that was only natural. But as far as the sharingan was concerned, Minato was just downright confused. Rin had said Obito had offered Kakashi it, but beyond that she didn't really know what happened. Kakashi had spoken so venomously about himself about the matter that Minato had stopped in shock, pulling the fuming, grieving boy into a hug to silence him.

He had given them a choice before, more than willing to abandon the mission for their sake earlier, but they had wanted to continue and so they had, succeeding in destroying the bridge. It was after that that Minato had placed sleeping jutsu's upon the two, not convinced that now they had no mission to focus on that they'd make it home without breaking down, and two hysterical grieving children in the middle of an Iwa-nin infested area was not a good idea. Besides, it hadn't even been fair that they'd had to finish the mission really; he couldn't find it in his heart to force them to keep it together for the journey home, hence the sleeping jutsu.

He had rushed the two back to the village at top speed then, concerned about Kakashi's eye and a deep slash Rin had since acquired across her stomach.

He thinks Kakashi's worst off at the moment, although he knows Rin's strength is tethered to Kakashi's, and if he crumbles then she most likely will too, because he's the one who pushes her to be her best, the one who keeps her going through it all.

He's cradling the sleeping Rin in his arms and staring absently into space right now. As far as he's concerned, he's failed; as someone they can trust, as someone who can look after them, protect them; as their sensei.

He shouldn't have left them, he tells himself angrily. He always thought they were too young, but they handled everything so well despite their age, and he really should remind himself every now and again that he'd barely been a Genin a year at the age they are now and yet there are…were, two chuunin's and a Jounin. He certainly couldn't have handled such a mission, why should they be expected to?

They'd been forced to grow up so fast Minato doubts they even had a childhood, or were even able to remember a time when they weren't in the academy, Kakashi especially.

He's disturbed from his thoughts by Tsunade, who sticks her head around the door and quietly informs him that the Hokage would like a word.

It's only then that Minato realizes he's not reported the mission to the Sandaime yet, and the Uchiha's won't know of Obito's fate yet either. Cursing quietly under his breath he slips off the bed, Rin still curled in his arms. Stooping he awkwardly pulls the sheets back and lays Rin down, pulling the blankets back over her and tucking her in.

Smiling sadly he rests a hand briefly on his students forehead before walking swiftly from the room.

Instead of making his way straight to the Hokage tower he takes a minute or two to check on Kakashi. He finds him conscious but still mostly out of it from the drugs, and so, after spending a few moments at his bedside, he promises him that he'll be back soon and leaves.

The meeting with the Hokage doesn't go very well as a number of the Uchiha's are there, and Minato can't really offer them much information. They're outraged about Kakashi, and Obito's father, the head of the clan, is furious, demanding that Rin and Kakashi be interrogated immediately.

Between them, Minato and the Sandaime manage to calm the man and the Uchiha's leave with promises to discus the situation further in the morning. Before Minato sets off for the hospital again, where he will no doubt spend the night, he expects, the Hokage tells him to inform Tsunade that the Uchiha's are forbidden from going near Rin and Kakashi until this is all sorted out. Minato hardly needs telling twice, he wouldn't have them let within 10 feet of his students anyway, with or without the Sandaime's permission to stop them, not after what's happened. They have no right to blame it on his two; he's more than positive that they did everything in their power to save Obito. Besides, he's the one at fault, he's the one who's failed, they should be angry with him.

When the Kiroi Senko reaches the hospital, Jiraiya meets him out outside Kakashi and Rin's rooms.

"Ero-sensei…" he acknowledges with a vague smile, relieved for the comfortable familiarity his old sensei provides him.

"Tsunade told me."

Minato sighs, his gaze fixed upon the floor. "Gomen, Jiraiya-sensei…" he's not really sure just why he's sorry, he only knows he feels like he's disappointed the man. In fact it's worse than that, he feels like a child again. Because deep down he feel's far too young to have such responsibility, to have the lives of three, no, two now, children placed in his hands. And Jiraiya…. Jiraiya is Jiraiya. His Sensei. He's the man who taught him everything he knows, the one who dragged him through everything when he was a kid.

In his mind Sensei's are like an extra parent. They're certainly forced to bond and become close to the kids, whether they like it or not. No one could go through the horrors of the Shinobi life and not become attached to the one who was by their side from day one. Sensei's are meant to protect their student's, and Minato has his own to protect, only he's failed, he's failed but Jiraiya's here. He's still his Sensei in Minato's mind, and he'll never stop being so as far as he's concerned, because he's always the one who always been with him every step of the way, got him through it all, protected him…

"Minato."

The Kiroi Senko is made to look up as Jiraiya lifts his chin, forcing eye contact.

"You did everything you could for those kids. They were far, far too young, and you've kept them alive longer than most would have managed."

"I shouldn't have left them, if I hadn't then-"

" 'If' doesn't help now. You took the most logical route, the mission wouldn't have been possible if you'd stayed with them."

Minato lowers his eyes. His former sensei has always been blunt about such things, but truthfully blunt, and it hurts but makes him feel a little better at the same time.

"Minato, not everybody can be saved. Sacrifices must be made for the majority to live sometimes. I'm sure he died bravely."

He nods wearily, because what else can he do? He knows on some level that the man's right, even though his mind is still stubbornly telling him he's a failure. "Rin says he saved Kakashi…" he murmurs absently, shaking his head, staring vacantly at the floor for a few moments, a scowl beginning to crease his brow.

"How do I just carry on?" he asks, frustrated, more to himself than Jiraiya as he lets his head fall tiredly against the man's shoulder. "How can I take those two back out there again in a few weeks? How can they trust me after what I let happen…"

Jiraiya sighs and wraps one arm around the blonde's shoulders. "They won't blame you. You can't do wrong as far as they're concerned. This was no ones fault, just war at work, but I'll bet they're just as worried that they've let you down as you are that you have them. Besides, they're damn proud of you, and so am I." He says gruffly, and Minato's sure he feels a kiss being pressed to the top of his head through his shock of thick blonde hair.

He smiles. "Arigatou, Ero-Sensei…"

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A/N: and we're done! Complete!

I thought poor Arashi deserved a kiss too, to keep in theme with the other chapters, andddd, well, Tsunade was the more logical consoling, kiss on the head/forehead type person, but I wanted to try Jiraiya and I hope I didn't mess it up too much!

Tried to emphasise that, even when he's Hokage, Arashi will still probably think of Jiraiya as his Sensei. I think most Shinobi will, well, that's my view on the sensei/student bond, I hope I wrote about it clearly enough! Reviews please?

Edit: updated because we know Yondy's real name! Great huh? I kinda liked Arashi but hey, at least he has a proper name now, and it's starting to grow on me!


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